30 Jan Momspiration Monday // Taylor’s Story
My name is Taylor Wilson and I am wife to Will, mother to Charlotte (age 4) and Camille “Millie” will be 2 in May. I have loved how motherhood brings about an entirely new community into your life by meeting so many moms and families through school, parks, front yards etc. It’s taught me that every mom has a different story, background and journey to and through motherhood. My journey has not been your typical path to being a mom. Its definitely not they way I planned it in my head as a young girl.
I met my late husband Mike my senior year of college, we married and two years later had sweet Charlotte Mae. However, when I was 7 months pregnant, Mike’s CNS Lymphoma relapsed. Mike had been in remission since before we got married, and we always knew this was a possibility, I never imagined it would be when I was carrying our first child. However Mike and I’s faith in Christ, got us through that extremely chaotic and frightening time. Mike was constantly in and out of the hospital, and we were so afraid he would be hospitalized when it was time for me to deliver. In His perfect timing and sovereignty, God brought Charlotte to us 12 days early, when Mike was in between treatments and was able to be there for every part of her delivery. After Charlotte’s birth the next two months were spent moving, changes hospitals and doctors, and caring for Mike and our sweet baby girl. Ultimately Mike passed away when Charlotte was just 11 weeks old. After that I found myself, a widow and a single mom at 27. Like many of us with our first babies, we have no idea what we are doing and I was no exception. Luckily Charlotte was a great sleeper and such a happy baby. I had the tremendous support of my parents and an amazing community of friends that lifted Charlotte and I up. While I was mourning the loss of my dear husband Mike, I got to look into his eyes every day in this tiny baby girl. Charlotte was my saving grace as I had this larger purpose to help me move on.
She was and still is such a special girl, and that twinkle in her eye never fails to remind me of her daddy. From early on I worried about what my family would look like in the future. How would I meet someone? Would they want to be with a single, widowed mom? Would they love Charlotte? Was Charlotte going to be too many years a part from her younger siblings if God blessed with me more children? All these thoughts ran through my head every night, because as mothers, that’s what many of us do…we plan, we worry, we become our own devil’s advocate for every situation. As I was busy trying to out think God, when I least expected it, less than a year than my husband’s passing I met Will. He and Charlotte’s relationship grew over time and Charlotte now has two daddy’s, one in heaven and one on earth. He loves her like his own and I am so grateful for that. God blessed Will and I with a second child last May, and yet another question that raced through my head was answered. Charlotte has a sister less than three years younger, and I have a family again.
As any family experiences, we’ve had a lot of growing pains. I have such a long way to go in my parenting journey, but I’d love to share some of my favorite pieces of advice I’ve received and learned myself.
- “Let it go” I had to learn to let go of my need for control (this is clearly an on-going struggle). As a mom we know how to bathe our children with out them getting too cold or too much soap in their eyes. We hold them just right so they don’t spit all over the back of our necks (most days) and we are typically making the small day to day decisions for our children. However, it’s so important that your spouse feel included and free to make their own “mistakes” and do things their own way. I think this is something ever couple experiences whether you are a step-parent or just trying to figure out this whole parenting thing in general. Learning to step back and let my husband lead and discipline is really important for him as a dad and for us a couple.
- What works for someone else, might not work for you and that’s ok. We get SO much advice as parents. From sleep training to pacifiers to formula to breast feeding. My advice and what has kept me sane is to remember that I need to be open to what people are saying, but at the end of the day I do what works for me and as long as my children are happy and healthy I have done my job. No amount of research or advice is going to beat mother’s instinct and my own personal relationship with my child.
- Make time for yourself. I work and that has given me great freedom to learn to (yet again) release control and let others love on and take care of my children. It has allowed me to have more adult time, to feel productive and recharge. I hope that whatever makes you recharge, whether it’s alone time with a book, going for a walk (with out a stroller) or pursuing a dream job, that you don’t let mom guilt get in the way of you doing something that makes you YOU. I am truly a better mom because I have people who love and help me take care of my children and I get pursue my dream of interior design.
We will all suffer and experience loss and hard times in our lives. Trying to navigate all those things while having young children can be extremely difficult. When things felt hopeless and out of control for me, I tried to keep my life simple and realize no amount of worrying was going to change things. In the end, what God has in store for us is far better than we could ever imagine. If I had never lost Mike, I would have never met Will and I would never have Millie. Trusting Jesus that in answered prayers (both yes’s and no’s) are His way of fulfilling the perfectly not so perfect path for us as women, wives and mothers.
Taylor Wilson, born and raised in Austin, TX, is mother to two, Charlotte Mae , and Camille Claire [20 months] and wife to Will. She graduated from the University of Texas in Austin and is a co-founder of the interior design company, Austin Design House, a web-based design service, pillows, and textiles resource. You can follow her on instagram at @austindesignhouse.
Do you want to share your story of motherhood with others? Do you have a momspiration you’d like to nominate to share their story and encouragement? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org!