12 Mar Momspiration Monday // Heidi’s Story
As I sit down to write this with my seven month old daughter smiling back at me, I can’t help but to be overwhelmed by God’s grace. It was on a Thursday afternoon fifteen years ago that I received a voice mail from an OBGYN that stated I would not be able to conceive a child on my own. Yes, you read that correctly, that was left on a voicemail. I can vividly remember driving to Mount Bonnell in Austin in utter shock with tears streaming down my face. How could this be, why me, Lord? That afternoon, overlooking God’s beauty, I was not alone. I felt God’s presence and peace. I didn’t know what the future held for me but I knew that I was going to be ok. Looking back on that moment today, I get teary eyed recognizing God holding me tight. I do not thank Him enough for that.
Fast forward to eight years later I began to date my now husband. I remember the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach as I knew I needed to tell him that there was a strong possibility that I would not be able to bear children of my own. He handled the news with such grace, and well, long story short, now we are married and we have two beautiful children.
It was October of 2014 that my husband and I decided I was going to stop taking birth control and begin trying for our first child that December. We started this journey having no clue what the Lord had in store for us. December 1, 2014 I had my first period (on my own) in over twelve years. The one and only time I have cried tears of joy about starting my period. That month we conceived our now 28 month old son, Rhodes Ryan Pettit (a little fun fact is my water broke with Rhodes at Chandler’s house). To say that we were overjoyed is an understatement. One year later we started the process again and by the Lord’s grace we were blessed with another gift, Cameron Claire Pettit. There is not a day that goes by that I do not look at my children and recognize the walking miracles that they are. I knew being a mother would be awesome and I wanted to be one so badly, but man was I clueless. Having kids is life changing and such a blast.
I would say the biggest lesson that I have learned so far (and I know I have a lot to learn) is how selfish I am as a human being. My children have taught me more about unconditional, sacrificial love and grace in their two years with me than my thirty four years on this earth alone. A few months after Rhodes was born I felt the Lord calling me to stay home with him. I know this pales in comparison to Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, but for me, sacrificing a job that I had worked so hard to achieve was not easy decision. I know to some this seems like a no brainer, but a lot of blood, sweat, and tears went into my Pediatric Nurse Practitioner degree and I had my dream job as an Orthopaedic PNP at Childrens Medical Center Dallas.
Let’s just say the Lord made this decision very clear to us after someone knocked on our door and asked to buy our house and my husband got offered a job in Tyler that he didn’t even apply for. Although it was extremely hard for me to leave my full time job, I am beyond grateful for the opportunity to be home with my babies. Plus, I get to have the best of both worlds – I still get to work with my Orthopaedic family in Dallas a few times a month and I am an adjunct faculty member for a nurse practitioner program.
Motherhood is the best, but with it comes many struggles. Sometimes I feel like a hormone casserole – one moment I will feel like I am on top of the world and the next I can feel utterly alone. Some days I feel like I have the motherhood thing down and then the next I feel like I have failed at every task for that day. Sometimes I feel like I am trusting in the Lord and His protection and then other times I feel worried about every little cough, bump, and bruise. However, my worst days are quickly erased when my son looks into my eyes with his bright brown eyes and says “are you ok mommy? Its ok mommy, I am here.” Moments like these help me to reflect on the Lord’s unconditional love for us. I may have envisioned my life to look slightly different at times, but I can’t help but see the Lord’s hand in it. I find it so refreshing to see His perfect plan at work.
I recognize that my story looks different from others and I cannot begin to understand their challenges, but I do know that the Lord is constant and he answers prayers in so many ways. Sometimes in ways that we do not want to hear. My prayer is that I would soak up every little hug, temper tantrum, sloppy kiss, spilled milk, high five, mess, sleepless night, and load of laundry, because I know someday very soon they will be gone. I know someday even sooner I will not be the one they want to spend their time with. I pray that I can learn to live each day with them to its fullest, to love them deeply, but above all to teach them how to love Jesus.
Heidi Pettit is a wife and a mother of two little ones. She resides in Tyler, TX as a stay at home mom, however, gets the opportunity to work an occasional shift as a pediatric nurse practitioner in Dallas, TX. She enjoys quality time with loved ones, anything outside, real estate, working out, the lake, and a good song to dance to.
Do you want to share your story of motherhood with others? Do you have a momspiration you’d like to nominate to share their story and encouragement? Email us at [email protected]!